Making Friends

How to meet people for the first time, how to chat and small talk, how to encourage friendship?  Times change (for example high fives were uncommon in Victorian days and nowadays it is not necessary to effect an introduction before you can talk to someone) but some principles remain constant.  Everyone has their own view on how best to apply social skills, but here are some thoughts:-

  • People will want to meet you if you’re well groomed
  • Smiling is encouraging
  • Listen well, ask about the person you’ve just met, be interested
  • Be polite, make them enjoy the conversation
  • Jokes are good but bad if done badly
  • Practice makes perfect.
  • This is a book review on Amazon:-

 “This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasises fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offence or arousing resentment. For instance: "Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers" and "talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world and everyday folks”.

But that’s really just a history lesson. The best we could find on making friends for teenagers was but we’re not entirely happy with it and we’d like more contributions please.