Although this might sound like how to handle the cutlery at a banquet, how to address an archbishop and other aspects of joining the middle classes it isn’t.
You want to join a group, you have to adapt to the social norms that group requires. If you want to be in the heavy metal, goth scene don’t wear a suit and tie. If you want to join a tennis club be prepared to wear the proper kit.
And if you don’t want to roll up your trousers and wear an apron, don’t join the Freemasons. Pick the groups that you want to belong to – a shared interest is a very common way of making new friends. And then conform to the social rules of that group.